Get Swimsuit Sexy: How to Rock a Bikini (With Photos) - Bellatory - Fashion and Beauty
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Get Swimsuit Sexy: How to Rock a Bikini (With Photos)

Flourish tells her teenage daughter that if she's going to wear a bikini, then get one that fits and flatters and wear it with confidence.

We all have imperfections, but don't let yours shake your spirit. Wear your confidence by being proud of your body and strutting your stuff.

We all have imperfections, but don't let yours shake your spirit. Wear your confidence by being proud of your body and strutting your stuff.

Time to Stop Hiding

Goodbye, one-piece swimsuit! And hello, sun-seeking stringy bikini!

This year, you won't be hiding behind an oversized cover-up or bypassing the surf and sand altogether to flee for the mountains. No, siree! The sun, sand, and waves are just waiting for you to swap that one-piece for a teeny bikini.

You've decided you're going to be toned, tanned, and taut, and this year, you're going to totally own the beach. If this is your goal, then here are some tips and inspirational photos to help you in your quest for summertime fun.

Less than 1 in 5 women choose bikinis.  Use these tips to look great and get noticed on the beach.  (Don't forget, however, that what really counts is your heart and mind.)

Less than 1 in 5 women choose bikinis. Use these tips to look great and get noticed on the beach. (Don't forget, however, that what really counts is your heart and mind.)

I Hope You're Here for the Right Reasons

I hope you're here for some tips on how to select the right bikini. (You're not a dude, are you, simply doing a drive by looking at the photos?)

Bikinis are fabulous choices if you have the body and confidence to compliment them. When I was younger, I rocked a string bikini myself. Pick out a bikini that best suits you by following the tips below. They're the same ones I've shared with my own daughter. It's all about fit, flatter, and function. Good luck, girls!

Tip 1: Select a Swimsuit That Fits and Flatters Your Shape

If you want to look great in a swimsuit, then you have to have the right size, cut, color, and fabric. Select your next bikini by taking your best friend with you when swimsuit shopping. (It's always best to have another opinion.)

For the best experience:

  • Remove unwanted body hair before shopping. This will provide a more realistic preview of what you'll look like in the suit.
  • Work on your self-tan so that you know what color of bikini will look best with your summer skin tone. It's difficult to select a flattering bikini color if you'll be three shades darker by the time you actually wear it.
  • Stop obsessively self-scrutinizing! Remember that the harsh lighting and triple mirrors of the dressing room will detract. Everyone looks better in natural beach lighting. Your friend will tell you if you need to rethink your decision for a two-piece.
  • Never—as in ever—skip the underwear while trying on suits. While it may give you a more realistic idea of what you'll look like on the beach, that's just nasty hygiene. (Yeah, you know why.) And after you buy that bikini, wash it before wearing for the same reason.

Find a Bikini That's the Right Cut, Color, Size, and Fabric

Keep these points in mind when selecting a suit:

Cut

  • Bikinis are often not the best choice of bathing suit if you have a thick waist.
  • High cut bikinis are an excellent choice for shorter girls, as they help elongate legs.
  • Use triangle tops and halters if you want to draw attention to your bust.
  • Details such as ruffles, ties, and bows also draw attention to a particular area.
  • Consider whether you can actually swim and move about on the beach in your suit. Strapless bikinis have a way of accidentally falling down in the waves. Avoid the embarrassment.
  • Be tasteful and age appropriate. For example, thongs tend to be unflattering even on toned and tanned bodies. Leave something for the imagination. You don't want to be a walking example of "too much information," do you?

Color

  • You can often purchase bikini tops and bottoms separately, thus you don't need to be "matchy-matchy." For example, choose a bright color for the top and black for the bottoms.
  • Use bright colors and patterns to accentuate (e.g., your bust, hips) and darker, solid colors to downplay.
  • If you're fair-skinned, avoid pastels, white and earth tones. These colors are often too close to your skin tone and can make you look "washed out."
  • If you have dark skin, consider selecting vibrant colors to provide high visual contrast. Hot pink and jewel tones can make a big impact, for example.

Reader Poll: Tell the Truth

Swimsuit Choice Communicates a Message About Who You Are

When choosing a swimsuit, consider the type of message you want to convey to others.  Every bikini clad beach bunny is someone's daughter who is just trying to fit in.

When choosing a swimsuit, consider the type of message you want to convey to others. Every bikini clad beach bunny is someone's daughter who is just trying to fit in.

Flaunt It

Select the right bikini according to cut, fabric, size, and color, and you'll feel like the only girl on the beach. Enjoy the waves and the sand, and have fun.

Select the right bikini according to cut, fabric, size, and color, and you'll feel like the only girl on the beach. Enjoy the waves and the sand, and have fun.

Fabric: Pay attention to the thickness and quality of your bikini fabric. For example:

  • Crocheted fabrics can become heavy when water-logged—not a good look or feel.
  • Avoid shiny, reflective fabrics and metallic-colored accents. Sharks can mistake the glittery effect for that of fish scales. (Shark attacks are an exceedingly rare occurrence, but why take the chance?)1
  • Some fabrics may be thin or become nearly see through when wet. Make sure your swimsuit has sufficient lining. I've seen examples on the beach of dark pubic hair showing through wet swimsuits due to insufficient lining. Gross.
On the beach, you can have fun with friends old and new.

On the beach, you can have fun with friends old and new.

Size: It's so easy to buy the wrong size, as bikini sizing can differ from that of other clothing. (It often runs smaller.) Be sure the size is right. Don't hesitate to choose a larger size. Only you will really know.

Function

  • Consider what activities you'll be engaged in while wearing your bikini. Are you simply wanting to stroll on the beach? Will you be playing volleyball, lifeguarding, running, or engaged in other active water sports? The more active you'll be on a regular basis, the more coverage and support you'll likely want (i.e., think sports bra, tankini style bikinis).

Other helpful hints:

  • To create the illusion of a bigger bust, consider padded tops, tie fronts, and under-wire push ups.
  • If you want to add the look of volume, ruffles make an area look bigger.
  • Bigger busted ladies (larger than a C cup) need to pay extra attention to "security" and coverage issues. Consider an under-wire, wide straps, and a thick chest band to minimize jiggling and fallout. You don't want "the girls" breaking free.
Padded tops and push ups can help provide the illusion of a bigger bust.

Padded tops and push ups can help provide the illusion of a bigger bust.

Tip 2: Tan Your Body Safely

The look of a tan can give you an attractive, sun-kissed appearance. Being a bronzed beauty, however, can come at a high price.2

While sunshine confers the natural benefit of increased Vitamin D levels, a suntan is the skin's sign that your body has been exposed to ultraviolet radiation. That is, suntans are signs of skin damage, and over time they may result in DNA damage to your skin and an increased risk of melanoma. Tanning beds can result in additional risks, such as the increased risk for cataracts and corneal burns.

Used in moderation, self-tanning products are a healthier option. Research has found the use of self-tanning products to be associated with

  • Reduced sunbathing.
  • Fewer sunburns.
  • A greater willingness to wear protective clothing in the sun.
Even this lady has days when she doesn't feel her best.  No one is perfect, but you can exude confidence with eye contact, a smile and good posture.

Even this lady has days when she doesn't feel her best. No one is perfect, but you can exude confidence with eye contact, a smile and good posture.

Tip 3: Confidence Counts

Have you ever listened to the lyrics of the oldies song, "Itsy, Bitsy, Teenie, Weenie, Yellow Polka-Dot Bikini?" Don't be that girl. Wearing a bikini is like wearing your bra and panties in public, but face it: if you're going to wear a bikini, then rock it confidently.

Avoid Arm Barriers

Arm barrier positions can communicate a lack of confidence, low energy, or both.

Arm barrier positions can communicate a lack of confidence, low energy, or both.

Confidence matters, whether you're on the beach, in the classroom, or at work. If you can't believe in yourself—not only how great you look but how awesome you are as a person—who else can?

Communicate your self-assuredness with good posture, appropriate eye contact, and smiling:

  • Walk tall with your shoulders back and your back straight. Slouching communicates low self-esteem and low energy.
  • Don't cast your eyes on the ground.
  • Using "arm barrier" positions can also communicate a lack of confidence, although you will certainly claim you're doing so because the position is simply "comfortable."3 Examples of arm barrier positions: adopting the "brozen zipper" position (hands cupped across the genital area), crossing your arms over your chest, the "self-hug" stance, and using an object such as a large bag or beach blanket as a type of security blanket.

Be Proud Of Your Body, and Have A Body To Be Proud Of

Real women come in a variety of shapes and sizes.  Feel comfortable in your own skin.

Real women come in a variety of shapes and sizes. Feel comfortable in your own skin.

Common Body Concerns and What You Can Do

Body IssueDefinitionContributing FactorsWhat You Can Do

Muffin Top or Spare Tire

A roll of fat around one's middle section

Selecting processed and fast-food meals over healthier options. Declining estrogen levels. Increases in adrenaline and cortisol. Cheating yourself out of 7 or more hours of sleep.

Increase physical activity, especially through cardio training and weightlifting. Reduce carbohydrates. Choose meals that are balanced and portion controlled. Manage stress levels. Get adequate sleep.

Stretch Marks

Streaked or striped scarring of the skin, often located on the abdomen, thigh or breast.

Genetics. Rapid growth or weight gain, as with puberty or pregnancy.

Laser treatment. Camoflague the marks with self-tanner. Apply vitamin E oil or a skin cream containing retinol to pink, purplish or inflamed stretch marks. Accept the silvery ones as a rite of passage.

Abdominal Bloating

Intestinal gas that creates swelling and a feeling of fullness.

A diet of rich, salty, and fatty foods. Eating gas-producing foods (e.g., broccoli, salads, beans). Swallowing air.

Stay well hydrated. Choose healthy, low-sugar foods. Minimize salt. Don't gulp beverages or eat too quickly. Avoid using straws and chewing gum. Reduce your stress level. Get moving.

Cellulite (or Orange Peel Syndrome, Cottage Cheese Skin)

Skin that looks dimpled and lumpy.

Lifestyle factors like smoking. A diet high in fat, salt and carbohydrates and low in fiber. High levels of estrogen, insulin and other hormones. Genetics.

Reduce the fat content in cells using exercise and a healthy diet. Use 0.3% retinol cream. Treatments via laser and radiofrequency systems.

Bat Wings (or Bye-Byes)

Jiggly upper arms that lack muscular definition.

Loose skin and loss of muscle tone, often age related.

Bicep and tricep exercises using 5 to 8 pound dumbells.

Cankles (or Calf-Ankles)

Chunky ankles that give the appearance that one's calf extends directly into the foot.

Fluid retention. Genetics.

Chew on parsley, a natural diuretic, or take a supplement of horse chestnut. Engage in calf muscle exercises to add definition. Select wedge shoes rather than ankle-strappy sandals. Opt for laser surgery if you must.

Get Fit & Look Hot This Summer Using This Bikini Workout

Tip 4: Ultimately, It's Not About the Swimsuit

Americans—particular American women—often struggle with how they perceive their bodies. Your choice to wear a bikini puts you in a minority, and although being in that minority could make you feel uncomfortable at times, the reality is that you may not always be able to rock a bikini. (So enjoy being young.)

Consider these statistics related to body image:

  • According to a recent Gallup poll, more than 1 in 4 American women is obese.4
  • The average American woman is size 14.5
  • The U.S. Department of Commerce abandoned the uniform sizing system in the 1980s so that manufacturers could stroke the egos of the American public (and line their own pocketbooks with our vanity). Consequently, what had been a size 16-18 in the 1950s is now about equal to today's size 8. Sizes can vary substantially from one brand to another.
  • Less than 1 in 5 women opt for a bikini.6
  • A survey of 1,000 women by Fitness magazine found that 89% of women who wear bikinis feel most harshly judged by other females.7

While wearing a bikini is guaranteed to get you some attention, keep in mind that ultimately, what really counts is your heart and mind. Are you a good person? What qualities do you have to offer the world? Most certainly, it's more than a sexy body.

Reiterate to yourself your positive features, from intelligence to a sense of humor to your empathy. Hopefully, being healthy and looking and feeling your best should be part of a larger positive self-view. Every bikini-clad beach bunny is someone's daughter.

VIDEO: Body Image and The Media

Notes

1Oceana. "Tips for Avoiding Shark Attacks." Oceana. Last modified 2012. http://oceana.org/en/our-work/protect-marine-wildlife/sharks/learn-act/tips-for-avoiding-shark-attacks.

2Evans, Susan. "The Dangers of Tanning Beds." The Dr. Oz Show. Accessed January 19, 2014. http://www.doctoroz.com/blog/susan-evans-md/dangers-tanning-beds.

3Westside Toastmasters. "Arm Signals." Accessed January 19, 2014. http://westsidetoastmasters.com/resources/book_of_body_language/chap4.html.

4Gallup.Com - Daily News, Polls, Public Opinion on Politics, Economy, Wellbeing, and World. "In U.S., Obesity Rate Stable in 2012." Accessed January 19, 2014. http://www.gallup.com/poll/160061/obesity-rate-stable-2012.aspx.

5Brown, Alyssa. "In U.S., Obesity Rate Stable in 2012." Gallup.Com - Daily News, Polls, Public Opinion on Politics, Economy, Wellbeing, and World. Last modified January 23, 2013. http://www.gallup.com/poll/160061/obesity-rate-stable-2012.aspx.

6Women’s Issues, Advice and Personal Stories. "Women Feel Judged Most by Other Women When They Wear a Bikini." Last modified May 27, 2011. http://www.mydaily.com/2011/05/27/women-feel-judged-most-by-other-women-when-they-wear-a-bikini/.

Enjoy the Beach!

I've got my flip flops and I'm ready for the beach!

I've got my flip flops and I'm ready for the beach!

Reader Poll: Tell It To Us Straight

© 2014 FlourishAnyway

Comments

FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on February 24, 2018:

Hey, Paula, you're not alone. But I love your sense of humor!

Suzie from Carson City on February 24, 2018:

HA!!! F.A. The only way I could "rock a bikini" ever, ever again~~is if I take it down to the creek to wash it!! Just like my last chance to have a "smokin hot body" is to be cremated!! Oh, but thanks anyway!! LOL! Paula

FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on February 24, 2018:

Aye1 - Thank you for your comment.

Aye1 on February 23, 2018:

Hi, came here to get some great tips for different kind of bikinis styles and new trends.

FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on March 18, 2015:

poetryman6969 - In the name of science, right? Thanks for stopping by.

poetryman6969 on March 18, 2015:

Love the photos of the gorgeous bikinied ladies! You have a lot of detail information on how to get a bikini body too. Upvoted as useful and beautiful.

FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on June 16, 2014:

Tori - You should rock a bikini as long as you can. Go for it, girl.

Tori Canonge from North Carolina on June 16, 2014:

I haven't been in a swimsuit yet this year and although I'm in good shape, I still feel all exposed and such in a bikini! Haha. I do have one that I look forward to wearing at some point this summer, but I would like to get a different one. Right now, the one I have is all black and I would like to get at least a top that has some color to it.

FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on April 09, 2014:

Audrey - I don't think this is me either. (I'm not 17 anymore.) I do appreciate your reading, however!

Audrey Howitt from California on April 09, 2014:

I think these days are behind me--but it was nice to dream of them for a bit--actually this is a great hub on the subject!!

FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on April 07, 2014:

Rajan - Bikinis are only for the young and young at heart! Thanks for visiting!

Rajan Singh Jolly from From Mumbai, presently in Jalandhar, INDIA. on April 06, 2014:

Useful tips and good pics. One really needs a shapely body to carry off a bikini well.

FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on March 28, 2014:

Tashaonthetown - Thank you for stopping by and taking the time to leave a comment. Summer will be here before we know it!

Natasha Pelati from South Africa on March 28, 2014:

Great hub with interesting info and tips. Will try some so that I can get bikini ready before next Summer!

FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on February 18, 2014:

Edward - That's an awesome compliment. The source I used for the beaches used a multitude of factors for ranking. I noticed too that no California beaches were in the top rankings. Maine also has some gorgeous beachfronts but they are very rocky. Thanks for reading and commenting!

Ed Palumbo from Tualatin, OR on February 18, 2014:

Drawn by the photo, captured by the writing! Well written with interwoven humor. I observe the West Coast has been somewhat overlooked, but I enjoyed this Hub!

FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on February 16, 2014:

Suzanne - Thanks for reading and commenting. Many people would agree with you. It's about priorities.

justmesuzanne from Texas on February 15, 2014:

Voted up and interesting. This isn't even something I think about any more. I haven't gone swimming in years, and if I did I'd just wear shorts and a sport bra. It seems strange to think that this sort of thing is so important to so many people... :/

FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on February 12, 2014:

Minnetonka Twin - So far, in terms of viewership -- let's just say there are a couple of hubs that have always done well since Google discovered them, my one or two most recent, then this one. It's still early, but I suspect the way this might be going haha.

Linda Rogers from Minnesota on February 12, 2014:

I had to hit every button on this well written hub. Love your sense of humor and how the mom in you comes out in this. I thought it was so cute when you said to remember that the beach bunny is someone's daughter. You can see how much work you put into this. Keep us in the know about how this hub does for your experiment. I think you're gonna get tons of hits. Seems so long ago that I was wearing a bikini-my days of wearing them is long gone but hey, what matters is my heart and mind, right? LOL

FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on February 09, 2014:

Kitty - Awesome for you. That's what really counts - how you feel about yourself. Thanks for stopping by.

Kitty Fields from Summerland on February 09, 2014:

Really well-written. Great tips! I know I need to work on a few things before Summer hits but the good thing is that I've learned self-love. I know I'm not going to look like a model but I love myself anyway! :)

FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on February 08, 2014:

Oh, Jo, it is an experiment that is doing well. Thanks for reading.

Jo Alexis-Hagues from Lincolnshire, U.K on February 08, 2014:

Flourish, this is simply brilliant, you've got the men hooked and the women shopping, perfect. :)

FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on February 06, 2014:

Frank - As long as it's in the name of science. You're a hoot.

Frank Atanacio from Shelton on February 06, 2014:

just needed one more look at the photos :) thank you

FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on February 03, 2014:

Crafty - That's a good one! You had me laughing out loud like usual.

CraftytotheCore on February 03, 2014:

Flourish, this Hub should do exceptionally well! I live close to some really famous beaches on the East Coast. One time I went to the beach with family. This was years ago. I was wearing a two-piece. I got caught under the under toe and so did my top! LOL I just remember my aunt throwing a beach towel like a linebacker trying out for football to make sure I had something to cover myself up with!

FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on February 02, 2014:

Thanks, Sarojnaagar.

Sarojnaagar on February 02, 2014:

Very Nice Article on Bikini.

FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on February 01, 2014:

CelebrateUSA - Thanks for your feedback. Have a great weekend.

Ken Kline from Chicago, Illinois on February 01, 2014:

Flourishanyway,

Truly delightful. Wow! Voted up and awesome. I have like many others the love/hate with the swimsuits. Very inspirational and upbeat - exceptionally well done.

FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on January 26, 2014:

Sunshine625 - Thanks for stopping by! Have a great weekend.

Linda Bilyeu from Orlando, FL on January 25, 2014:

Quite an informative and entertaining hub! Great pictures and exercise routines! :)

FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on January 25, 2014:

Suzanne - You definitely have a point there. I'd wonder whether anyone folks meet on a beach is appropriate dating material. I like your new verb, "perving." Haha. Thanks for reading and taking the time to comment.

Suzanne Day from Melbourne, Victoria, Australia on January 25, 2014:

I'm packing a bit of a paunch these days, so bikinis are out for me. But I still have wishful thoughts! Lately I have been wearing one piece swimsuits with little frilly skirts or cute boy shorts on them and they quite suit my body shape. To be honest, I think anyone seriously perving and hitting on people at the beach is not really someone I want to meet! Voted up and funny.

FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on January 23, 2014:

Liz - This is a twist for me! I've been analyzing my metrics and wanted to experiment a little with what compels readers. I hope in the end good writing matters. I bet the beaches in CA are beautiful. Thanks for reading!

Liz Elias from Oakley, CA on January 23, 2014:

LOL--definitely a twist for you, but extremely well-done! I salute you. As for me, I don't do bikinis, and never have. In fact, I've never owned a 2-piece, bikini or not! I'm much more into being very active, and I don't trust them to stay put!

Hmm...I'm sure there are great beaches here in California, too. ;-) I have, though, been to Coast Guard Beach in MA. ... MANY years ago....

Voted up, interesting and useful. Cheers!

FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on January 23, 2014:

Writer Fox - Yes, the mother in me wants to toss these gals a cover-up. Summer will be here before we know. Thanks for reading and leaving a comment.

Writer Fox from the wadi near the little river on January 23, 2014:

I thought I was rushing spring but you are way ahead of me! After looking at some of these pictures, I'm convinced that humans should wear more clothes. Voted up!

dragonflycolor on January 23, 2014:

Rawr!

FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on January 23, 2014:

dragonflycolor - 77% of women have stretch marks, so you're in good company. Don't sweat it and be the best you that you can be.

FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on January 23, 2014:

Crisp Sp - This sure isn't my usual thing, but I'm glad you enjoyed the poll and the tips. Have a great day, and thanks for stopping by.

dragonflycolor on January 23, 2014:

I wore a bikini before pregnancy and I think I looked pretty good. Now, I can't find one that will accentuate my tiger "stripes" on my belly. :) However, it is my goal to be healthier, lighter, and more tan this summer. Great hub! Voted up!

CrisSp from Sky Is The Limit Adventure on January 22, 2014:

Love your poll! Lol!

Oh, and the hub? Not a typical you (based on your previous other hubs) but this one makes me wanna pull the season! Can't wait for spring and most specially summer cause I am no winter fan!

Great hub! I enjoyed reading it. Good cool tips!

FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on January 22, 2014:

Dora - Thanks for visiting and taking the time to comment. I'm glad you enjoyed the hub.

Dora Weithers from The Caribbean on January 22, 2014:

This article has everything--information, instruction and inspiration. A great article for the promotion of the bikini and the self-confidence of those who want to wear it. Voted Up!

FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on January 21, 2014:

Nell - Thanks for reading and not upchucking. You are loyal indeed!

Nell Rose from England on January 21, 2014:

How did you get my photo? LOL! seriously, I just had to vote on your poll and say its disgusting but hey I am here for you! lol! only joking, I remember wearing a bikini....a long time ago! no actually it was when I went to Greece a few times. I was a bit nervous, what with the belly....but there were so many women on the beach wearing them of all shapes and sizes and it was fine, and good for you, I can see a HOTD coming on! haha! now can we get a mens beach wear please? pretty please.....? lol! nell

FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on January 21, 2014:

James - As you provide this feedback, this writer realizes that yes, you're just the messenger. Have a great day!

James C Moore from The Great Midwest on January 21, 2014:

I don't normally read fashion pieces.Your article has my vote for best visuals.

FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on January 21, 2014:

Devika - I can completely understand anyone's reluctance to wear one. It's like wearing your bra and undies on the beach. Thanks for stopping by.

FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on January 21, 2014:

Anastasia - I can't even comprehend wearing a bikini at 70. What a difference there is in cultures and how we keep and view our bodies. Thanks for your insight into how Croatian ladies rock their bikinis.

Devika Primić from Dubrovnik, Croatia on January 21, 2014:

Get Swimsuit Sexy: How To Rock A Bikini (With Photos) is an awesome hub. I have not yet worn a bikini and won't give it a thought. Great choices.

Anastasia Kingsley from Croatia, Europe on January 20, 2014:

Excellent hub, very informative, truly stellar! Loved the bonus flip flop sandals too. I stopped the hub to immediately try the workout, which isn't that hard. Summer comes early in Dalmatia. Although at this moment it's raining cats and dogs outside, by mid Feb there will be some early bird swimmers.... Just FYI, most women except those over age 70 wear bikinis. Here in Europe, that is. I don't think they know other types of bathing suits exist. They are a little saggy but not as obese as the Americans. Truly stellar - and thanks! Shared!

FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on January 20, 2014:

Rebecca - Thank you for stopping by. Aging happens to the best of us, but as unkind as it can sometimes be to us the alternative is a lot worse.

FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on January 20, 2014:

Frank - Holy moley - I thought that might be the case.

FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on January 20, 2014:

Bob - You really got me laughing. I like that "oatmeal cookie skin" description. I've try to train my husband to say that he doesn't like the beach. Haha. Thanks for stopping by for the writing.

Bob Bamberg on January 20, 2014:

You mean there were words to this hub, too? Whoa, what will they of think of next!

You put a lot of work into this piece, Flourish, and provided practical information in a very entertaining way. Really nice job. The Body Concerns grid is especially good. I've heard cellulite referred to as Oatmeal Cookie Skin, too.

Your suggestion that guys don't wear thongs is a great one, and should be extended to speedos. Of course, this is coming from someone who would kill to be built to wear a speedo.

And, I'd like to reassure you girls that fabric that becomes see-through when wet, or bikini malfunctions don't embarrass us guys or make us feel uncomfortable or anything. In fact, there are some guys who are drawn to the beach by a primal force...you know, kinda like when the wolves used to hang at the edge of campfires, hoping for a little morsel every now and then :) Voted up, interesting and useful...............OK, and awesome.

Rebecca from USA on January 19, 2014:

I love your hubs, so amazing, useful and entertaining! I learned from reading this that I need to gain about 10 lbs in the upper body area aka boobs, and should probably start doing squats and sit-ups. Aging is evil. Things are getting gravity damaged and relocating to the southern regions! OH NO!

Frank Atanacio from Shelton on January 19, 2014:

Sweet Jesus! I'm here for those photos. The pictures alone drew me in!

FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on January 19, 2014:

Joelle - Thank you for the warm kudos. If anything, being on the beach provides a little extra confidence. There are a lot of folks, men and women, who sport skimpy swimwear and let it all hang out. Yikes. In this cold weather, thinking about the beach helps. I do think it's calling my name.

kidscrafts from Ottawa, Canada on January 19, 2014:

Flourish, I love your style! You have always such a unique way to write... especially the polls :-) And I am sure that some people don't check the rear view mirror ;-)

I have a bikini but I prefer a one piece swimsuits.... less prone to accidents as Faith mentioned. I think I had an accident as well but I was in the water so I could recuperate that one quite fast :-)

I love your sandals :-)))) They are quite inspiring to make me dream of a nice beach with turquoise water during this so cold winter... but if I go, I will probably be somewhere in the shade with long sleeves as I enjoy the warm weather but not the sun because of the skin damage it can cause.

Very well done, Flourish!

Have a great week!

FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on January 19, 2014:

Hi, Randi - Thanks for reading and commenting. Just like you, I'm further away from those days than I care to think about.

Randi Benlulu from Mesa, AZ on January 19, 2014:

Well, you did it....a stellar hub! Great job and wonderful information. Oh, how scary to think how very far from those pictures I am! Thank you for sharing! Up++ Randi

FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on January 19, 2014:

Oh, Jackie, don't even say it. All those recipes I've tried from fellow Hubbers, plus those from other sources. I guess I could always suck it in and fold it over, haha. No need for a larger suit.

Jackie Lynnley from the beautiful south on January 19, 2014:

A very entertaining idea! We all have to start thinking right now what it will take to get in last years suit...probably a miracle this soon after Christmas and Thanksgiving!

FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on January 19, 2014:

vespawoolf - Thanks for stopping by. I'm glad manufacturers have learned to be a bit flexible. The idea of buying tops and bottoms separately is a great one for both color and size reasons.

FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on January 19, 2014:

tirelesstraveler - Thanks for stopping by. This is not my usual type of hub, but I thought I'd give it a go before returning to HR business advice, travel stuff, and lessons from various animals. I appreciate your reading and the nice compliments.

Vespa Woolf from Peru, South America on January 19, 2014:

What a fun Hub! I also believe in mixing and matching tops and bottoms. And confidence always helps. Thanks!

Judy Specht from California on January 19, 2014:

Great fun! Loved the polls. Your advice about rocking the beach with shoulders back standing tall and proud is terrific. Nicely scientific combination of psychology, fashion and color .

FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on January 19, 2014:

Anna - Thanks for stopping by. It was legitimately difficult to write. I am curious about readership results, especially over an extended period, and I will surely update fellow Hubbers on my experiment's results. Although not all of us write for money, all of us appreciate our work being valued.

FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on January 19, 2014:

Faith Reaper - After reading a debate in the forums recently, I decided to give the topic and category a try. It was actually tough to write, and I wasn't even sure I could do it. I didn't know whether to go sleazy, cheesy, or funny with it, but I wanted to make sure whatever I produced was good enough to pass the Quality Assessment and that I put in sufficient effort to answer my readership question. I liked your bikini mishap story. That's what every girl is afraid of, you poor thing.

FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on January 19, 2014:

Bill - I expect similar results. Hmmm.

FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on January 19, 2014:

Sha - We've all seen better days, haven't we? It is fun to remember, however. These young ladies should flaunt it if they want to. They won't always look like that, and it provides fun memories when you're older. I still recall a guy who ran into a telephone poll checking me out. It was a long time ago but the memory still gives me a giggle.

Bill Holland from Olympia, WA on January 19, 2014:

I think I read somewhere that the swimsuit edition outsells the rest of the covers combined. :)

FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on January 19, 2014:

Bill - Friend, you are proving your loyalty! Sometimes, I imagine it is tougher to read and comment than others, but you always find a way to encourage. A forum discussion recently got me thinking about what motivates readership. I also wondered if I could even write this. I don't expect my best performing hubs to hold a candle to scientific hubs like these. The swimsuit edition of Sports Illustrated is a case in point. I bet it outsells most of the other covers.

Anna Haven from Scotland on January 19, 2014:

I was intrigued with your topic choice as it is so far removed from the normal subjects you cover. I definitely wasn't here for the pictures and I am not a bikini girl.

Well your healthy living advice was good, you injected humour and I really like the scientific angle of how your traffic figures will fare from this topic diversity.

Interesting and different. I am guessing those views may come rolling in with your pictures this time and not just with your writing (writing which has a big enough pull on its own, due to the high standard it always displays.) :)

FlourishAnyway (author) from USA on January 19, 2014:

Jodah - Thanks for reading. I know it was painful, but you stuck it out like the trooper you are. How awesome are you for doing that?!? I will definitely do updates on the readership. In the end, I hope the darn writing matters somewhat. You know, 'cause that's what we do ... write.

Faith Reaper from southern USA on January 19, 2014:

LOL You are brilliant! I thought about something along these lines too just to draw attention initially to possible reads on other hubs ... but you have actually provided tons of useful facts for those who want to rock that bikini. Back in the stone age, when the string bikini was popular, let's just say I had a bikini malfunction and one half of the top slid too far to the left ...oops. well, that was it for me LOL Up and more and sharing. You rock regardless, Faith Reaper

Shauna L Bowling from Central Florida on January 19, 2014:

Flourish, once upon a time ago when I had a flauntable body, I wore thong bikinis. Now I wouldn't be caught dead on a beach in a bikini or anything short of a tarp! ha ha. Not to mention, I've done damage to my skin by spending way too much time in the Florida sun unprotected.

I'll bet this post is a real hit with the guys! :-)

Bill Holland from Olympia, WA on January 19, 2014:

The first choice of the first poll had me laughing so hard I had to stop reading....I'm just here for the pictures. LOL No, seriously, I'm here for you, but the pictures were a nice bonus. :)

John Hansen from Queensland Australia on January 19, 2014:

What a great hub Flourish. So well written and researched. I never knew sharks mistook shiny things like body jewelry for fish fins, now I do. I just had to keep going back and rereading it...lol. ...for scientific reasons. Um, and the pics are nice too. ;)

I'd be interested to hear how your traffic for this hub compares to some of your others., so keep us informed. Voted up awesome.

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