How to Fill a Bra - A Guide to Stuffing Your Bra in Style
When god handed out breasts, he pulled a fast one on me and tossed over two anemic English muffins. Thank goodness for modern technology, eh?
To be honest, I've never stuffed a bra before, mostly because I like to forget the stark reality that I am not, indeed, still 11 years old. Nevertheless, I am very impressed by all the options that small-breasticled ladies such as myself (not to mention the non-breasticled cross dressing gentlemen who frequently put us to shame in the good looks department) have when it comes to making our modestly endowed chests look a bit more curvy.
Let us peruse the options together and discuss both the good and regrettable features of each. By the end of this overview, you shall be sure to know which bra-stuffing technology is best for your budget, needs, and capricious whims.
The Basic Offerings
Let's get real, dear reader. Pretty much anything can be put in a bra. That's one of the things that makes bras so awesome. But while many a woman is known to stuff the odd cell phone/ticket /cash wad in her bra, the best (or most commonly used) options for bra stuffing are as follows:
- Falsies/chicken cutlets
- Built-in padding (padded bras)
Let's have a look at the merits and pitfalls of each option in greater detail below.
The Chicken Cutlet/Falsies
By far the most "professional" means of stuffing a bra involves the use of chicken cutlets.
The day your gentle author was introduced to these hidden accessories was at Senior Prom, when one of these oversized flesh-colored clam meat discs was flung at the Prom Queen.
As it happens, these devices make for excellent projectiles. Keep that in mind.
The primary purpose of these funny looking things, however, is to make your breasticles look bigger. They do so well by sitting at the bottom of a bra, thereby displacing what little flesh you have and making it seem like you are far more endowed than you may wish to admit.
The upside to chicken cutlets is that they may be employed whenever one wishes and removed at will. The downside is that they can become sweaty and uncomfortable to wear, and, if worn inconsistently, they may reveal to the general public that you are packing silicone.
These caveats are entirely nullified by the aforementioned option to use the cutlets as airborne weaponry, which I highly recommend. Think of them as soft shiruken that you can keep in your bra.
To be honest, only padded bras have taken up permanent residence in my boob-boosting arsenal, mostly because one is hard pressed to find bras in my size that are not padded. The lovely thing about padded bras is that one need not worry about stuffing. They are the pre-stuffed, ready-to-bake pastries of the bra stuffing world.
What's more, many padded bras are filled with the most delightful substances. While the mundane normal foam ones may still be found, more and more padded bras may now be found with fascinating gel and memory foam augmentations, which contribute not only to a more natural appearance but are also delightful to poke and squeeze.
The one downside of this lovely feature is that one may find oneself prodding at one's chest a bit too often, for the memory foam makes it all too satisfying to do so.
Tissues & Toilet Paper
Time and time again, the movies present us with footage of young girls stuffing their vacant bras with toilet paper.
While such scenes are humorous (e.g. one's stuffing being used as tissues to dab away tears in times of distress), they perpetuate a terrible practice that must be stopped.
Tissues and toilet paper make for terrible stuffing options. Though the materials are cheap and readily available, they quickly collapse within one's bra, are not at all convincing-feeling when subjected to hugs, furtive fondlings, or football style chest bumps. What's more, absolute disaster may ensue should one be caught unprepared in a rainstorm and positively soaked.
When it comes to paper augmentation, just say no.
Apparently teens these days have gotten it into their heads that socks are a viable bra-stuffing material.
To be fair, socks are soft, moldable, and readily available, but let's be practical here, they're just not meant for your chest. They're just not!
Believe me, you do not want your chest to have any chance of smelling of feet. Also keep in mind that socks, even in the best of times, are lumpy. One does not want to have lumpy looking breasts. I say it's better to have no lumps at all than lumpy lumps.
So leave out the socks, too.
In the end, bra stuffing is best left to padding or falsies. It's that simple.
Yes, we live in an age of choice and ingenuity, but when it comes to making one's superfluous chestal appendages appear larger than they are, one had best not get too creative. Unless one wishes to construct fem-bot style boob-firearms. In that case, invent away!
No matter what you stick in your bra, I hope you have fun putting it there. And don't get to tied up in appearances. It's just your body. Take what you've got and work with it!