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Fanny Packs: Blessing or Curse?

To Explain

This is a serious piece about what I call a "fashion absurdity": the fanny pack. Yes, the fanny pack. Why did I choose this subject? The overall reason is that I have not seen one line written on this slightly-controversial topic in the now-going on five years I have enjoyed on HubPages. This is not to state that there has never been an article published about fanny packs, it's just that I wanted to attack this topic and give you a full measure of what I think about fanny packs.

Presenting . . .the fashionable, in style fanny pack
Presenting . . .the fashionable, in style fanny pack | Source
Fanny packs go with almost  any wardrobe ensemble
Fanny packs go with almost any wardrobe ensemble | Source

Let's Enjoy Some More "Fanny Facts"

Fanny packs are not what you would call a popular topic. Fanny packs are not sexy, cool, or seen often in places visited by Paris Hilton. Hey, you do not even see Hilton, the super-party-heiress, wearing a fanny pack. Ever. This might be "the" only thing about her that I do like.

I would say that I have carved out a decent beginning to my lecture about fanny packs. I just wish that fanny packs had a history of being associated with American standards such as "Gone With The Wind," Roy Rogers (a fanny pack would be the only thing that would make Rogers lose his temper), John "Duke" Wayne and legendary productions on Broadway such as: "Cats."

Men and women alike  can wear fanny packs
Men and women alike can wear fanny packs | Source

Secret Fact Exposed:

Fanny pack is an international craze

A fanny pack (also known as a belt pack, belly bag, buffalo pouch, hip sack, phanny pack, waist bag, waist-pack, butt pack (US), waist wallet (Canada), hip pack (UK), belt bag (Philippines), bum bag (UK, South America, Australia, New Zealand) or Gee Bag (Ireland)) is a small fabric pouch usually secured with a zipper and worn by use of a strap around the hips or waist.

Questions Have Risen

About fanny packs. There is no avoiding the cringing, uneasy feeling you get (if you are a wearer of a fanny pack) when you hear a common, law-abiding citizen ask, "What is that around your waist, a girl's purse?" I would wager that this one question was asked many times when the fanny pack first debuted around waists of people famous or non-famous.

This is why I entitled this piece:

I will do my best to address the main concerns and questions that might be associated with fanny packs and the people who wear them.

Fanny packs are perfect  for people on the go
Fanny packs are perfect for people on the go | Source

Would you wear a fanny pack?

See results

Might be the "fanny pack in the room" as it were, as why people would wear something called a "fanny pack."

Convenience: Look at how much time a fanny pack saves you when you need a dollar to get through an entrance to some event that calls for monetary charges. A fanny pack totally eliminates the digging and scratching around in your purse or wallet to get that buck to get inside the event and be seated.

Safety should be the number one reason for wearing a fanny pack. Why? Let's say you are going to a foreign country where crime is rampid. Do you really want to run the risk of keeping your money and valuables in a purse or wallet only to have them shrewdly stolen from you in broad-open daylight? No. Of course not. With the fanny pack, you are in total control for you can see and feel it at anytime.

Filing Away smaller things you might need on your walking tour or even jogging. Where else would you store your drivers license, identification and mace? Well, instead of having several places to store these items, now you have only one place to store them with the fanny pack.

Intimidation: I have changed my mind about "safety" being the number one reason for wearing a fanny pack. This reason should reign as the number one reason for a man or woman going out in public wearing a fanny pack. Why? It's a matter of common logic. What thug would dare try to attack (and rob) anyone, even a wimpy guy, who dares to be seen in a dangerous neighborhood wearing a fanny pack? Not many. Thugs feel (those who do think) that if this weak-looking wimp with thick horn rim glasses is brave enough to wear a fanny pack, then he must be brave enough to withstand a beat down.

Woman waits for cab  but her valuables are safe  inside her fanny pack
Woman waits for cab but her valuables are safe inside her fanny pack | Source

Unwanted attention will surely come your way if you are not known for fanny pack wearing if you start to make a "big change" in our social image and "that" "big change" is wearing fanny pack to work, dinner and even to church. I can tell you from what I have read about fanny packs, you, being the average citizen, will get chuckles muffled under people's breath, eyebrows shooting straight up, and those annoying fake coughs or clearing of throats by your associates who have always seen you as an obscure person. It will come. Think before you secure those velcro straps around your waist.

Being taken advantage of by friends who see your fanny pack as a neat place for them to store their valuables. You will certainly hear, "Aww, Jim. Come on. Be a pal. We've been friends for years and remember that one time you were flirting with that new gal, and she threatened to tell you wife, and I, your best friend, stepped in to take care of that would-be nasty situation? I thought you would remember that. Now let me place my car keys, wallet, sunglasses and lip balm in your fanny pack.

Insecurity in your persona will surface if you are a first-time fanny pack wearer. Now unless you enjoy being berated and tongue lashed, do not start wearing a fanny pack. Your self esteem will thank you.

If You Are a tad overweight and it shows in your girth, please, for me, do not wear a fanny pack before you drop a few, no, a lot of poundage. When you put on a fanny pack, it acts as an extension of your stomach and you do not need the harassment.

Thank you for reading my piece. Now pardon me while I ponder my own article about if "I" should start changing my image and wear a fanny pack.

Good night, Fresno, California.

The fanny pack on Hollywood's stage

© 2016 Kenneth Avery

Comments 6 comments

Blossomsb 3 weeks ago

They're so useful when travelling. As an Aussie, I call mine my Kanga pouch.


DreamerMeg profile image

DreamerMeg 3 weeks ago from Northern Ireland

@Theonatureboy When I go shopping in the city, I carry a rucksack too, for my purchases. It's a pretty big rucksack at 25 litres and i have to move my fanny pack round a bit to accommodate the straps.

@alwaysexploring I thoroughly recommend a fanny pack for safety, convenience and for making sure you carry only essentials. It's ready at a moment's notice, with everything. A couple of years ago, we got an emergency call to an elderly neighbour. I was able to grab my fanny pack, knowing keys and money were there.


always exploring profile image

always exploring 3 weeks ago from Southern Illinois

I have never had a fanny pack, but I would love to have one. Two weeks ago I left my purse in a shopping cart at Walmart. I got halfway home before I realized I didn't have my purse. I quickly returned to the store. ( Knowing it was gone forever. ) To my surprise someone saw it and took it inside the store where they had locked it in a safe. I was one lucky gal. I now never put my purse in a cart.


The0NatureBoy profile image

The0NatureBoy 4 weeks ago from Washington DC

Dreamer Meg,

That got in the way of my backpack or bedroll so I had to wear mine in front.


DreamerMeg profile image

DreamerMeg 4 weeks ago from Northern Ireland

I wear one every day. It's a lot easier than carrying a handbag, it leaves your hands free. I wear mine at the side, not the front.


The0NatureBoy profile image

The0NatureBoy 4 weeks ago from Washington DC

Kenneth,

I wore one for many years as "the nomad" I was before arriving in DC in 2009 so you really caught my attention. It was a very convenient way to carry what little money that came my way - I didn't carry any ID, have keys not most of the other advantages - pocket knife and tools I needed. One 2005 photo of me found at http://prop1.org/protest/elijah/democracy.htm shows just

what you said about it being an "extension of your stomach." When I look at it I always ask myself if I was that fat before looking upward and see I was not my stomach.

Thanks for the funny but interesting piece.

Elijah, aka, NatureBoy

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    kenneth avery profile image

    Kenneth Avery1,547 Followers
    1,266 Articles

    Kenneth has been a member of HubPages for five years. He is retired from a 23-year career in the weekly newspaper business.



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